A Baby Is Not a Cloud Shikamaru!
by randomness1868
Summary: Temari has just given birth... and the father is the one and only Nara Shikamaru! How will Shikamaru cope with the new terror in his life? ShkaTema all the way with some SasuHina, NejiTen, NaruSaku etc.
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer: I mean seriously! Why do we have to do this? It's not like most people actually read this stuff! Well, anyway here it goes; I don't own Naruto! There, I said it! Happy now? Everything belongs to their creators and I can only say that the story plot is mine…**

**A Baby Is Not a Cloud, Shikamaru!**

Garra, the kazekage of the village hidden in the sand, paced the corridor outside of his sister Temari's quarters. He heard muffled cries sounding from inside the room and winced.

"Sit down for goodness sakes Garra!"

"No, I can't. At least not until I know…" Garra trailed off and continued pacing at a slightly faster speed.

Kankuro sighed. This new, protective Garra still managed to freak him out, even though it had been over a year since Naruto had "changed" him into a less frightening and more tolerable being. _At least the village seems to accept him_, he thought.

The two brothers fell into an uncomfortable silence, interrupted only by Temari's cries that grew louder as the minutes passed. Finally, Garra could take it no longer.

"Dammit! When I find the man that did this to her, I'm going to kill him!" His features were twisted so horribly with anger that Kankuro was quite sure that if he could, he would.

"Be sensible Garra. What if this was what she wanted? What if she wanted this?"

"Be sensible! How can I be sensible?! If she wanted this, she would have at least told me! I sent her on missions! I made her go all the way to Konoha! AND SHE WAS PREGNANT TOO!!" Garra's voice got steadily louder.

"Garra. Calm yourself!" Garra glared at him. "And yes, you may be my superior and my kazekage, but I am also first and foremost your elder brother!" Kankuro stopped, surprised. Garra stared in shock- never before had Kankuro scolded or commanded his younger brother. It was always Garra who had done the reprimanding. Both brothers fell silent, yet both failed to realize the obvious silence that had befallen not only them, but the entire corridor too.

"Kaze… ka…ge sir!" Garra looked up and the doctor immediately stood up as straight as his back would let him.

"What? This had better be important Kenji." Garra snapped.

The poor doctor trembled but managed to speak. "Temari has… has just had a healthy… baby girl."

"Who is the father?" Garra demanded, stepping forward dangerously close to loosing control.

The man stepped back, beads of sweat trickling down his face. "Nara Shikamaru sir."

**It's amazing what you come up with when you are bored! Stay tuned for more to come! **

**- randomness1868**


	2. Granny Tsunade

**Gomen! Gomen! It's not funny… I know, but it will get funnier as it goes along… I think.**

**Disclaimer? How 'bout a simple IT'S NOT MY'N. Okay *sits down sweetly* all done.**

Nara Shikamaru stared up at all the puffy, white clouds in the blue sky. He liked clouds. They were calm and peaceful and just floated by, going wherever they pleased. Unlike some squawky females he knew- troublesome, too troublesome. He sighed, happily, forgetting everything but the clouds.

_Oh cloud_, he thought. _I would marry you if I could; only Temari would get mad and dump me for sure._ It was a secret that Shikamaru and Temari kept. They had been dating for over a year, unbeknownst to their friends and most importantly, Temari's brothers. If they knew, well Shikamaru didn't even want to think about it. It was a horrible thought and Shikamaru could just imagine himself in five separate pieces scattered throughout Konoha. At least then, he wouldn't have to deal with women. He'd be dead, floating among clouds with no Ino and her loud shrill 'I-love-you-sasuke' voice or his mother yelling at his father. The only female he would miss would be Temari and even then, only vaguely.

"SHIKAMARU! GET YOUR LAZY BUTT DOWN HERE! TSUNADE NEEDS TO SPEAK WITH YOU!"

Speaking of loud, noisy females, there comes one right now. He sighed. _If it was that bossy old lady calling him again for another mission_, Shikamaru thought. _I'll go join the Akatsuki._

"Coming Ino-pig." He grumbled.

"Whazzat you called me?" Ino turned dagger eyes on him.

"Nothing." He was used to it by now.

"Good." She humphed. He followed the blond kunoichi toward Tsunade's office listening to her mindless chatter all the way.

*********************************

Ino showed him to the door, lingering there for a few seconds before turning away and (in Shikamaru's mind) sashaying down the hall. _Women._

He knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Shikamaru winced at the voice of the 5th Hokage. _More women._

He entered. Tsunade slouched at her desk, a bottle of sake in her hand. Papers lay in a neat stack on her desk, _probably due to Shizune_, Shikamaru thought, which he noticed, were not even touched. Her face and clothes were as flawless as ever- something Shikamaru failed to understand about women. "They always want to be beautiful" he remembered complaining to his dad once.

"Nara Shikamaru." She said, drawing out the letters slowly and thoughtfully.

"Yes, milady?" _No mission, no, nope! Shikamaru's on break now_, he pleaded with her silently.

She paused. "Honestly I don't know whether to congratulate you, or…" here she sighed as if even saying the words pained her (which Shikamaru was pretty sure it didn't), "… turn you over to the ANBU for questioning."

"I'm not sure I understand milady." Shikamaru said carefully.

"You haven't heard any strange rumors lately Shikamaru?"

"No."

"The kazekage Garra of the sand village is furious with our village. Our allies are threatening to leave and declare war again."

Shikamaru waited patiently for his part in this- the part where she says 'Shikamaru-I-need-you-to-go-on-a-mission.'

"Garra demands the truth and would also like to speak with the offender: you"

"Me?" Shikamaru uttered weakly. Did he somehow find out about him and Temari dating? Was he to be killed by a pair of furious sand brothers?

"Of course I can't send a fine shinobi like you without knowing why, so of course I asked and I found that you, Nara Shikamaru…"

She paused to take a drink of sake. Shikamaru leaned in closer. "What? What did the kazekage tell you?" Shikamaru wanted to shake her like a rag doll. But that was so un-Shikamaru-like, he decided.

"Alright, alright I'll tell you." She smirked inwardly. She could tell Shikamaru was flustered and she loved making the lazy shinobi worry. It was so un-Shikamaru-like. "You are a father. Congratulations!" She giggled. Shikamaru had turned a pasty white color.

"Milady are you drunk?" he asked finally. _The old lady has a weird sense of humor. _That just made Tsunade laugh harder.

"Ahhh… no. I'm not drunk. Shame though. If you still don't believe me, here read this." Tsunade, still heaving with laughs handed Shikamaru a paper with the sand symbol on top.

_Dear Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves,_ it said.

_I, Garra of the Village in the Sand would like to request an audience with Nara Shikamaru. Reason: He is the father of my older sister Temari's child! The proof is here in the scroll you will be receiving. I prefer to remain allied to the leaf village but until this matter is settled, we will consider you a threat. If Nara Shikamaru's name is cleared, we will continue to ally ourselves with you; if not, we will declare full- out war on the village hidden in the leaves. _

_Sincerely, Garra the Kazekage_

If Shikamaru were Naruto, he would have yelled, firmly denied it, go knock some sense into Garra and throw a tantrum while calling Tsunade names. But he wasn't, and as he took a look at the data, he had a sinking realization that it was all indeed true. And then came his famous words, "What a drag."


	3. Sorry, It's A Girl

**Heyz it's me. I would have updated yesterday… but the power went out. So here it is. You know the disclaimer so there. ME NO OWN NARUTO.**

Garra paced the halls outside of the Hokage's office, thinking of all the ways he could kill Shikamaru. Temari sat quietly watching her brother pace. Garra still felt guilty for letting her come. She was only just out of the hospital and Garra had thought that it would have been easy to break it to her that Shikamaru was indeed the father. Instead, it only made her more insistent upon going to the Leaf village with him to see Shikamaru. He could not refuse, especially because she pulled the I-am-older-then-you card just as Kankuro had- _what was up with that?_ Garra had wondered.

The bundle in her arms let out a cry and Garra's thoughts of torture disappeared. He'd never tell Temari, but he had a growing fondness for his niece. Everything about her was so… Temari. The child had her sandy blond hair that stuck up everywhere- which Temari had attempted to smooth down- and her dark blue eyes that seemed to know things no new-born should know. _That unfortunately was Nara's_, Garra decided unhappily.

Temari knew. She knew he loved the child. But there was no way she was going to tell him that- although it could use for some good blackmail. She was actually anxious to see Shikamaru. Not that she'd tell Garra **that** either- she'd need all her strength just trying to keep Garra from killing her lover.

"Garra." She called. Her brother trudged obediently over to her- which wasn't surprising considering he still thought she was still not in tip-top condition.

"Yeah?"

"I just have this feeling I need to discuss with you about how you are not going to kill Shikamaru." Temari said smoothly, handing the bundle of kid to him. She stood and crossed her arms. Garra was trapped. He couldn't escape, backed against the wall as he was, with his butt in the too small plastic chair, holding a bundle that every now and then shifted in her sleep.

"You will** not** touch Shikamaru-kun; and nor will you unreasonably sentence him to death. If you do so, you will be sentencing ME too." For emphasis, she pointed her finger toward herself. "Instead you will give him and I a chance to redeem ourselves **before **you go breaking off any alliances, which you will **not**."

Garra gulped. "You're being unreasonably scary sis."

"Good." Her face broke into a wide grin- a grin telling him that she had something up her sleeve. "Oh and, Kankuro and your advisors have all got my back."

Garra groaned. "You know, I almost liked it when you were in bed-rest." He muttered.

"Go talk to Shikamaru then. I'm sure he's dying for another kid."

"Humph." Was all Temari got in reply.

*********************************

Garra slid into the chair Tsunade held out for him. Temari sat across from him, next to a very nervous Shikamaru who kept glancing nervously at the child Temari held. Tsunade- once certain that her guests were properly settled sat in her chair which had been moved to one side so that the kazekage could share the space behind the desk.

The two leaders sat watching the nervous couple- or rather the nervous Shikamaru; Temari was right at home in the office where she had spent most of her time in Konoha.

Shikamaru nervously fidgeted. Tsunade taking pity on him spoke:

"So Temari how is the baby?"

"Fine milady."

"Have you picked a name yet?" Tsunade sent an amused glance at Garra who seemed to be enjoying Shikamaru's obvious discomfort.

"Well I kind of wanted Shika-ku- I mean Shikamaru to decide." The so said person nearly fainted at this last comment. "I was thinking though…" Temari bit her lip thoughtfully. "… and I was considering Emi or Emiko since the first thing she did was smile."

A strangled gasp sounded from next to her.

"Do you not like Emi or Emiko, Shikamaru?" she asked innocently. Garra and Tsunade meanwhile stifled their giggles at Shikamaru's bewildered expression- it looked like he was on the verge of fainting crossed with trying to pop his eyeballs out.

"You said she." he croaked.

"Yes, is there something wrong with that?" she frowned. Poor Shikamaru nearly fell off his chair.

"I like Emi." Tsunade interrupted while Garra nodded, quite red in the face with held in laughter.

"Emi she is then."

"Alright; with that cleared up, let's get down to business."

Shikamaru sat up straight.

"Garra, I believe that you'd like to give Shikamaru a chance in redeeming himself?" Garra nodded. Tsunade took a look at the paper he had given her.

"The task being…" Shikamaru leaned in. He was thrilled to have been given a second chance, especially when he had been so sure he would have been killed by Garra. On the other hand, he wasn't sure if he could handle too much more. "…to care for Emi for a month along with the assistance of Temari. If you can do this to the approval of the kazekage, he will forgive you and not kill you for…" Tsunade had to laugh at the next few words. "… molesting his precious sister."

"I'll do it then." Was all Shikamaru said. Unknown to everyone else though, his inner Shikamaru was going nuts and all Shikamaru could think was,

_we should have used condoms._


	4. Ichiraku Ramen

Poor Shikamaru wanted to be anywhere but here. As soon as he and Temari had left Tsunade's office, they had been bombarded by Ino. It had been even worse when Ino saw Emi. She had squealed and wanted to hold her, while calling herself 'Aunty Ino'. Temari had been equally excited and the two women had quickly organized a shopping spree for the baby.

"Of course you can come too, Shika-kun." Ino had told him. Shikamaru had quickly declined, just thankful that Ino had not thought of asking who the father was. He hoped to be far away when Temari broke the news to their friends.

He was now a few paces ahead of the two kunoichi, with his hands in his pockets and trying to block the squealing sounds they were making.

"Temari-san, where would you like to eat? My treat." Ino offered.

"Anywhere is fine."

_No, don't say it, _pleaded Shikamaru silently. He knew exactly where Ino would pick.

"How 'bout Ichiraku?"

Shikamaru groaned. "Hey Ino, knowing that it's lunch, Naruto will be there." He said. "And the loudmouth might wake the baby."

"Oh, you're right." Ino frowned unhappily. "Then I'll just have to tell him to keep it down!"

************************

Naruto Uzumaki strode along happily toward Ichiraku Ramen. He, Sakura, Sasuke and Hinata had planned to meet there for lunch and he was in a brilliant mood. He just hoped it wasn't crowded- he was not exactly famous for waiting.

"Ah crap!" His good mood vanished instantly as he saw the huge crowd gathered around the ramen shop. He ran full sprint toward the building. "Better have saved seats Sasuke-baka."

The blonde ninja got there in record time (his precious ramen was on the line!) and paused. The crowd was composed of mostly the Rookie 9 and a few of their friends. He could just make out Sakura's pink head bobbing toward the middle of the crowd.

"Kawaii!" That was Sakura.

"Oh such a cutie!" Ino.

"Can I hold?"

"No baka! Temari said I could next."

"You just went!"

"Back off Billboard-brow!"

"Ino-pig!"

Naruto winced. There they went again.

"Uh, Naruto-kun?" spoke a quiet voice from behind Naruto.

Naruto turned to face the new arrivals. "Oh, hi Hinata-chan. Sasuke-baka."

Sasuke glared at Naruto. Black met blue.

"Sasuke-kun." The Hyuuga peace-keeper tugged gently at her boyfriend's hand. He turned reluctantly away from Naruto.

"Do you know what's happening Naruto-kun?" she asked, ignoring the exasperated look Sasuke gave her.

"Nope." _And I don't care_. Naruto wanted to add. His stomach growled in agreement and Sasuke smirked.

Hinata smacked him lightly and dragged him reluctantly into the crowd. Naruto happily followed behind.

Temari sat at the counter, watching happily as Ino and Sakura cooed over the baby in her lap. Shikamaru stood protectively next to her and frowned as Sakura and Ino continued to push each other out of the way-Sasuke, upon seeing his two former fan girls, subtly inched away, but was instantly yanked back by Hinata.

"Congratulations Temari-san." Hinata whispered over Sakura and Ino. Temari smiled and Sakura turned to greet the trio.

"Can you believe Temari had a baby?!" she rambled. "No one knew before now! Oh! Did you hear Hinata? Temari and Ino have organized a shopping trip for the baby- who by the way is named Emi- and all of us are going, so do you wanna come?" Before Hinata could reply, Sakura had turned her full attention to Naruto. "I know you want to eat and I had a bowl of ramen ordered for you so you don't have to wait." Sakura led Naruto to a seat nearby and soon the ramen loving ninja was enjoying his two most favorite things in the world- ramen and his girlfriend Sakura.

Shikamaru was surprisingly feeling better and more relaxed. All the attention was on Temari and so far, no one else besides Temari and himself knew that he was the father. He watched as one by one, the members of the Rookie 9 and a few others stepped up to congratulate Temari and felt a sudden pang of envy. Sure Temari did most of the work but he WAS the father. Taken aback by the thought, he focused a bit harder on something, anything but Temari and Emi.

His gaze landed on Sasuke who looked as every bit (or maybe more) as uncomfortable as him. The raven-haired prodigy was leaning against the doorway of the restaurant, his arms crossed across his chest. His eyes possessive and alert followed every move Hinata made and Shikamaru knew that if Hinata wasn't here, he would have long been gone. Occasionally, Sasuke would dart a glance out the door towards freedom. Or maybe he was just checking for fan girls.

Shikamaru dragged his gaze away from the Uchiha and looked around the room. Most of their friends had chosen to stay at Ichiraku after they congratulated Temari. He spotted Neji across the room, glaring at Sasuke, Choji… eating and Kiba letting Akamaru do who-knows-what in the corner of the restaurant. He smirked. He could just picture Garra's reaction if he let Emi do that. He'd be dead before he could even say "ha".

Temari was enjoying herself quite a bit. Little Emi was in Hinata's arms- which were considerably safer then Sakura's or Ino's. Emi was smiling her famous smile and seemed quite content in Hinata's arms and when Emi was happy, Temari tended to be happy too.

"How old is she?" Hinata asked.

"Going on two months." Temari said proudly.

"It's been that long already." Hinata mused. "Temari-san, the last time we saw you was around the time you got pregnant yes?"

"Yes." Shikamaru, who had been listening absentmindedly to the conversation, straightened up and turned a pale color.

"I wonder how come I never noticed…" Hinata wondered.

_I should have watched out for that,_ Shikamaru panicked. Hinata had had some medical training from Tsunade and recognizing the sign of pregnancy was one of the early skills the medic ninjas learned.

"Who is the father, Temari-san?" she asked innocently.

Shikamaru turned red as did Temari. He tried to leave as inconspicuously as possible, but no sooner had he gone a few steps, Temari's reluctant voice was heard;

"Shikamaru-kun."

**Gomen if you do not like any of these additional pairings. **

***I do so suck it up!* (Inner randomness1868)**


	5. Daddy's Here

**Heyz! Long time no see! *receives death glare* Gomen! Gomen! Um… busy. *tries to run***

"Hey Shikamaru," Shikamaru winced as Temari walked into the room. "Where am I going to sleep?"

"You can have my bed; I'll sleep on the floor."

"Cool." Temari turned and hesitated. Then in a softer tone: "Are you still mad about earlier."

"No."

"Sorry anyway."

"Why didn't you tell them it was someone from Suna?"

"Because that would be a lie and they are our friends. They do deserve to know, you know."

"Un. Forget it. They would have found out anyway." Shikamaru mumbled.

After Hinata had asked and Temari had announced to the world that he was the father, he was smothered by Sakura and Ino, who had insisted they throw a party to celebrate.

"After all, who'd know that Shika-kun would end up having a kid first out of all of us!" Ino had said. Sakura had agreed and only Hinata had seemed to get what she just triggered. She had apologized at least 20 times before Sasuke appeared and dragged her away. Shikamaru and Temari had managed to excuse themselves from the chaos and escaped back to Shikamaru's house where Temari would be staying.

Shikamaru had spent the rest of the day sulking and hiding in the bathroom or at least until Temari decided he wasn't using it after all, and dragged him out.

Shikamaru grabbed his spare blanket and pillow, and settled on the hard wooden floor as comfortably as he could.

"SHIKAMARU!!!!!" Shikamaru woke with a jolt. Fumbling with his blanket, he jumped up, kunai in hand. His thoughts raced- worry for Temari and Emi and alarm. Then it all cleared and he was suddenly aware of everything- Every shadow, the layout of the room, everything. He ran towards the bedroom and nearly ran past the door.

He was greeted by a sleepy Temari, sending glares past him.

"What is it Temari? What happened? Are you alright? Where's Emi?"

He could hear Emi crying from the next room.

Temari flopped back in bed and closed her eyes. "Can you get that? I think she pooped or hungry or something."

Inner Shikamaru fell over twitching. _She woke me up for this?_ "Fine."

"Thanks."

Shikamaru trudged next door. Emi was lying in her borrowed crib crying.

He picked her up. "What did you do, poop?" He muttered. He took a peek into her diaper. Nope. Clean. "Are you hungry?" She cried even harder. "I'll take that as a yes."

Carrying Emi, he made his way to the kitchen. "Now what do babies eat?" Shikamaru took a look in the fridge. "Ramen, ramen… damn! Was Naruto here?!" He looked at Emi. "You don't eat ramen do you?" Digging further in, he found a carton of milk. Pulling it out, he checked the date. "Only 3 days passed the deadline." He grumbled. He sniffed it cautiously. "Smells okay," He took a small sip… and made a face. The horrible taste filled his mouth and flowed down his throat. He coughed and ran to the sink, spitting and coughing. Emi giggled, her blue eyes shining, her famous smile on her face. Shikamaru rinsed off his tongue and threw the milk away. Silence filled the kitchen. "Good," he stifled a yawn. "She stopped crying." Emi against his shoulder, he walked back to her room and put her back in her crib. "Now go to sleep." He withdrew his hands and walked to the door.

"Eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhggggggggg!"

Shikamaru groaned. "Now what do you want? Daddy wants to sleep." _Whoa, did I just say that?_ Emi raised her arms up. "Uh." _What did Temari say that meant? 'Potty'- whatever that means, no. Uh… food. No, wait, up! She wants me to carry her! _

Pleased with himself, Shikamaru picked her up. "Now what?" Emi, content in her father's arms was quiet. He tried putting her down. She screamed.

"I think she wanted her daddy." Shikamaru turned. Temari was leaning against the doorframe watching with crossed arms.

"Do you want to hold her?" he asked weakly.

"No, she wants you."

Silence followed. "Um, Temari, what do I do now?"

"Hold her of course." She snorted. "You wanna listen to her cry all night?"

"But I-"

"Just go to sleep with her! God, Shikamaru! Use your brain!" Temari yawned. "Now, I'm going back to bed. Just don't smash Emi 'kay?"

Temari left, leaving Shikamaru holding Emi. He looked down at her and then out the door where Temari had stood. "Women."

**Thanks for reading, and I need your opinion. Should I make my chapters longer? Or leave them short? More romance? (Sorry! Nothing bad please!) Please let me know what you think, the blue button is waiting!**


	6. I Am

**Um… okay. One thing I have to clarify (or two). First, although Emi is still very young, she matures fast because she has Shikamaru's genius brain. Secondly, don't blame me if I know nothing about babies! Disclaimer: … you know already! Why do I have to go through this! I do wish that I owned Naruto though.**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"Shikamarrrrrruuuuu! Be a good daddy and hold Emi's clothes for me!" Shikamaru groaned as Ino piled yet another bag of baby clothes into his arms. Fatherly duties, she called it. He would have just let Emi run around naked.

"Oh, what a sweet baby! Who's the daddy?"

"He is." Ino jabbed a finger at Shikamaru and the cashier cooed again. "Ahhh! Helping picking out clothes are we?" She turned to Temari, "Your husband is so sweet, helping you like this!"

Temari turned red. "Well, um… we aren't exactly married."

"Oh! I'm sorry miss!" The cashier hurriedly apologized. Her eyes said otherwise, Shikamaru noted. Improper, they said. And it was. Nobody in Konoha had children without getting married first. _A bit too proper if you ask me_, he thought. But that was the unwritten rule, and he and Temari had broken it.

The group left the store and walked (much to Shikamaru's irritation) quickly down the crowded walkway.

"Where shall we head next?" Ino sang.

"How 'bout Hot Topic?" TenTen grumbled.

"Are you crazy TenTen?" Ino pouted.

"That's where I would shop."

"We aren't shopping for you." Sakura pointed out.

"It's too bad, right Hinata?" The Hyuuga heiress nodded to please her friend, and TenTen grinned. "See? Hinata wants to go!"

"Later baka, we still have more to shop for."

"More?"

"Yes." Shikamaru winced. This was worse than training! Worse than the chunin exams and the missions… his train of thought too lazy to continue, he focused instead on keeping the pile of bags balanced in his aching arms.

"Doesn't Emi have enough clothes to last her years?" he questioned.

"You mean she's gonna wear the same things day after day?" Ino raised her eyebrows at the walking pile of bags from which the muffled voice came.

"Nothin wrong with that."

"Are you kidding me!? Shikamaru, will you deprive your child of clothes? Oh poor Emi! I'm sorry! Don't listen to your father!" Ino cried.

"And who exactly is paying for all this?"

"You are."

"What!?" Shikamaru yelled. He nearly dropped the pile of bags as he shuffled after Ino, who giggled and held his wallet in front of him. He glared. "Give it back Ino-pig."

With a pout, she stuck the wallet neatly back into his pocket. "God, Shika-chan." She said, emphasizing the chan. "I'm kidding. Garra is paying for everything. And wouldn't you be happy if it was your money is going toward Emi's clothes?"

"For the last time Ino, she-does-not-need-that-many-clothes."

"Yes, she does." Ino declared.

"Baka."

"Idiot."

"Freak."

"Pineapple head."

"Shut up!" Sakura yelled, causing a few passing shinobi to stare. "Stop arguing! Ino-pig! Shika's right. Garra will be bankrupt if you shop anymore! Shikamaru," she paused. "Stop provoking Ino pineapple head."

A giggle. Everyone turned to look. Emi, who had been sleeping in Temari's arms had woken up and was staring at her father with a huge smile on her face.

"She likes 'pineapple-head.'" TenTen stated calmly.

"I do too." Temari smirked.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Shikamaru had never remembered a time he felt so humiliated and pissed. Ino had happily announced to anyone who'd listen that he, Shikamaru Nara was the father and they all had that look that said you-should-have-gotten-married-first or you-should-have-used-protection-there-are-such-a-thing-you-know. And he was sick of it. So sick in fact that he had glared at the last woman who had stopped to admire Emi and gave Shikamaru and Temari a look of sympathy once Ino had announced the news. Poor unmarried couple my ass, he thought bitterly.

He and Temari had a full escort home and by the time he had managed to get Ino out of his house, he was ready to throw a fit worthy of Naruto the great complainer himself!

"Shikamaru." A warm hand touched his shoulder gently and he shrugged it off. "They're just girls you know. Once they have one of their own, they will know how we feel."

"We?" he asked bitterly. "You seemed to enjoy the attention."

"That's what comes of being the former kazekage's daughter and Garra's ambassador. I am expected to show nothing of which people don't want to see."

"It's not what I want to see."

He took Emi from Temari and laid his sleeping daughter in her crib. Temari padded after him, reluctant to leave him and his bad mood. Honestly, it scared her. He never got angry.

"Please don't be mad." Shikamaru didn't answer and Temari sighed. "I'll talk to Ino." She turned and was just out of the room when she heard a muffled:

"Thanks."

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"Ino, please try not to bug Shikamaru okay?" Temari pleaded. They were once again for the millionth time at Ichiraku Ramen and as she had promised, she had pulled Ino on to the side to talk.

"I'm bugging him?" Her innocent question made Temari sigh. Honestly, Ino had no idea what went on around her that actually mattered. "Alright." she said, relenting after she'd seen Temari sigh. "I won't tell anyone he's the father."

"And?" Temari prompted.

"And go goo-goo over Emi."

"Good." Satisfied, Temari drew back from her friend.

"Well how 'bout just a little goo-goo?"

"Fine." There was no getting Ino to stop completely, Temari saw. "But just a little!" she called, as Ino skipped over to where Hinata held the baby. Temari groaned and rejoined Shikamaru at the bar counter. He was staring dejectedly into his ramen.

"Are you gonna finish that?" Naruto already had his chopsticks into Shikamaru's bowl before the ninja nodded and pushed the bowl toward the blond.

"Baka." Was all Sasuke said as he and Shikamaru watched Naruto inhale his ramen.

"I want another!" he yelled.

"One ramen coming up!" yelled the cook with a grin.

"I'll have one too!" Temari turned at the unfamiliar voice. A man with pure white hair that hung down his back stood between Shikamaru and Naruto.

"Hey, Pervy Sage!" Naruto yelled.

"I told you not to call me that!" the man yelled, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.

"That's Jiraya, Naruto's mentor." Shikamaru whispered to her.

"You mean _**the **_Jiraya." Temari asked.

"Yeah. Naruto learned a lot from this guy, although I honestly wonder if he actually knows much himself. I think he's just a pervy old man."

"I heard that!" Jiraya yelled, pointing at Shikamaru. "Oooh! And who is this lovely young lady?" Just as quickly, he turned his whole attention onto Temari.

"I'm-"

"This is my _**Girl-Friend **_Temari of the Sand." Shikamaru interrupted.

"Oh." Jiraya said, clearly disappointed. "Well, my dear, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm your man!"

"I see you're as perverted as ever." Temari looked back and saw Tsunade leaning against the doorway.

"Hey! Big boobi- I mean Tsunade! You're looking as beautiful as ever!" Jiraya beamed from head to toe on seeing his former teammate.

"Temari don't listen to anything he says." Tsunade told her, pushing Jiraya away as he tried to hug her; or as Temari thought, tried to smash himself into her boobs.

"Ahh Tsunade! You're ruining my rep!" he whined.

"Honestly, you're as bad as Naruto."

"Yeah!" Naruto piped in. "Hey wait a minute! What's that suppose to mean?!"

The shop sprang into chaos for a second, as Naruto tried to charge Tsunade, with Sasuke holding him by his collar, and Jiraya tried to make out with a pissed off Tsunade who punched him in the face. He popped up a second later and was about to flirt with the waitress when he noticed, to Temari's horror, Emi. He swaggered closer.

"Who's this?" he asked, bending over so that he was face to face with Emi.

"Her name is Emi." Hinata explained softly.

"Oh ho! Somebody got busy! And who's the lucky couple?" The room fell silent and everybody froze. Temari slid her eyes to Shikamaru who was as still as a statue. "Oh! I don't get to know?" Everyone's eyes moved toward Ino, whom they all expected to tell. She shook her head, sending a glance to Temari.

"I am!" Everyone turned; their mouths open (even Jiraya's).

"You Naruto?" he asked an unbelieving look on his face. Naruto nodded. "Ooohkay. That's weird." Shikamaru looked even the more shocked then when he found out he was the father. Shocked and, Temari realized, a bit envious. Jiraya recovered quickly and walked over to Naruto and punched him happily in the arm, which made him fall off his chair. "Good job! You have to tell me EVERYTHING! And I mean everything! Gosh, I haven't been back in over a year and I come back and this?!" Naruto gave the-everyone-play-along-look as Jiraya bombarded him with questions.

"Oh um yeah! You sure missed out on a lot." Sakura agreed.

"Surprise!" yelled Ino, making Temari jump.

"And who's the mommy?" Jiraya cooed as he snatched up Emi from Hinata and spun her in a circle.

"Um me." Sakura said, glancing at Temari.

"Oh that makes sense! Let's see, she has your eyes Naruto, and your hair in fact, sort of, not really. But where's Sakura in this kid?" he turned Emi around and she bopped him on the nose. "Ouch! Okay yeah, that's definitely Sakura right there."

**oooooooooo**

As soon as he could, Shikamaru escaped from the inside of the restaurant. He sat on the roof instead and tried to clear his head. He couldn't believe Naruto would do that for him. Although he was insanely grateful to his friend, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous, as Naruto in those few simple words had claimed Emi as his own. And why didn't Ino say anything? Temari had probably talked to her as she had promised, but it was still disconcerting to not hear the familiar "he is."

"Temari's worried you know." He didn't need to turn around to know that it was Sasuke standing behind him on the small roof. "You know if it's that bad, just go down there and tell the truth." That had to be the longest sentence he'd ever heard the ice queen say to him. And then he was gone and below him, just walking in again.

"Where were you?" he heard Ino ask. "You're missing the fun."

"No where."

"How is he?" she spoke softer and Shikamaru nearly fell over. Ino worried? That was a change.

"I told him." was all the Uchiha said. And then almost as an after-thought, "he'll come down when he's ready."

"Thanks." He saw Ino glance up at him and he turned his head away and up toward the huge Icha-icha paradise poster that Kakashi loved so much. Yuck.

Shikamaru stared at it absentmindedly. He supposed it was time to accept that he was a father. He remembered Naruto jumping up and saying "I am!" He couldn't just let his friends cover for him every time! Shikamaru made up his mind. He would go down there and say "I am." Temari would smile and he could be with Emi. Whether they liked it or not, they were family and he couldn't let them down. He jumped off the roof and landed, knees bent, one hand on the cement and stood. He walked into the restaurant and took a deep breath:

"I am the father!"

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

***sigh* I love cliff-hangers! Thanks for reading guys! And stay tuned for more! ****Poor Shika! **


	7. I Still Love You

**Hi everyone! Let's just say my mom banned me from the computer for a while 'cause my room was decidedly not to her liking. After laboring away she finally lifted the ban and so here I am! Okay, so enough with the excuses and let's get to the story!**

**oooo**

"So I don't get to be a grandfather?" Jiraya asked weakly in the silence that followed.

Tsunade gave him a pat on the back- which was more of a punch to him (let's not forget Tsunade's super strength!)

"Oh you'll get over it." She said dismissively.

Naruto gave him a sheepish grin. "Sorry 'bout that Gramps, Shika's a real private person ya know."

Shikamaru smiled weakly. Temari had come to stand by him in the moments that had followed his outburst and she too grinned.

Ino sighed inwardly. Finally!

Jiraya sat down sadly. "I always wanted grandchildren and Naruto is like a son to me."

"Heh!" Naruto rubbed the back of his head- a habit, Shikamaru noticed he'd always had. "Well, you know, it's not too late! If Sakura and I have kids, you can be a grandpa, pervy sage!"

"Really?" he sniffed. Sakura nodded. That is, if Naruto ever got around to proposing to her. He seemed content with how they were now.

"Oh! That reminds me!" He searched his pockets and pulled out a ramen cup from his jacket from which he withdrew a ring. He got to his knees and held it toward Sakura. "Sakura, will you marry me?" The room grew quiet again as everyone waited for her answer. "Sorry, I forgot. Hee."

Sakura turned a brilliant red. "YOU BAKA! YOU FORGOT? HOW COULD YOU FORGET SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS THAT?" Temari quickly covered Emi's eyes and looked away as did everyone else except for Tsunade, who happily noted that she had taught her pupil well.

When they deemed it safe to look again, they found Naruto with a huge red mark on his face and Sakura with a steaming fist. She took a deep breath, "But yes, I will marry you." And Naruto couldn't have been happier, despite the fact that Sakura had just beaten the crap out of him. He slipped the engagement ring on her finger and they kissed. Temari felt a pang of jealousy run through her; when was the last time Shikamaru had kissed her like that?

Once again, congratulations filled the small ramen shop and Shikamaru found himself smashed up next to Temari. "Where's Emi?" he muttered as the crowd of excited shinobi surged forward.

"Hopefully with Hinata-chan. She's the one I saw her with last and that is probably the safest place for her anyway."

"Goo-" his words were cut off as an excited Ino pushed him forward and sent him tumbling. His flailing arms caught Temari in the chin and sent her stumbling too. It sent off a chain reaction of falling shinobi until half of the ninja in the room were sprawled all over the floor of the small shop. Luckily, Shikamaru had landed on something soft and he pushed himself up only to find that that 'soft thing' was Temari's boob. He was, or had been, lying on top of Temari in a very questionable position, positioned exactly where his head would have fallen into her-

The shinobi gulped and scrambled to his feet. He extended a hand to Temari and she took it, pulling herself up with almost no help from Shikamaru at all. Her face was a deep red and she glared at Shikamaru before turning her full attention to the blond that was giggling away at the damage she had caused.

"INO!!!!!!!" Shikamaru would have betted all of his money that Garra- who was on the other side of Konoha, could hear his sister as well as Shikamaru could hear her now. But at least, for once, he wasn't the one being yelled at.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry guys." Ino apologized, seeing the ferocious look on Temari's face. "Didn't mean to." Temari took a deep breath. Emi started crying. "Look what you did now!" Ino cried out. "You made poor Emi cry. What a bad mommy you are." The kunoichi skipped over to where Hinata was and began cooing to the baby who just cried harder.

"Oh, so it's my fault now." Temari grumbled.

"Sorry 'bout that." Shikamaru scratched his head sheepishly.

"It wasn't your fault, it was Ino's." she replied.

"Still…"

"Shika, just forget it." She told him gently- the gentlest Shikamaru had seen her since… well forever. He could never understand women.

**oooo**

After hurried good-byes and promises to attend the wedding, Shikamaru, Temari and Emi made it home, Emi sleeping comfortably in her daddy's arms. She had made a big fuss about not being with Shikamaru, so Shikamaru had carried her all the way home (which really wasn't very far.) He was surprised to find that in fact, he didn't mind it at all, in fact he kind of liked it, and Temari sensing this, held a smug smile all the way back.

"I still don't get what that smirk is for." He muttered as they put Emi to sleep in her crib.

"Oh it's nothing." She said with a smile.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh no, you were perfect in fact."

"So why the smirk?" Temari shrugged. "Never mind, I'm not sure I want to know."

"You don't." she couldn't help adding.

"Shut it Temari." He warned.

"Yes Shika." After making sure the baby was sound asleep and safe, Shikamaru and Temari made their way to Shikamaru's small, one person living room. They squeezed onto the small couch and Temari was all too aware of Shikamaru's leg leaning slightly against hers. An uncomfortable silence filled the small space.

"So…" they both began to break the silence.

"You first." Temari muttered with a blush.

"Nah, it's no big deal." Shikamaru could feel a blush burn the back of his neck.

"I hate this."

Shikamaru was mildly surprised. "Hate what?" he asked.

"The fact that we let Emi's birth come between us." She said. "I mean, things have been so awkward since I came and I almost wish that we didn't have her so things wouldn't be…" She paused, searching for a word.

"…like this." She said finally, sweeping her arm around to indicate the small living room and kitchen, while nearly hitting Shikamaru in the face. She slumped over and Shikamaru could not help but agree with her.

The genius never said much, nor displayed any sign of affection and romance for the sand girl next to him, but they both knew that he indeed cared about her. Shikamaru too, wished- very subtly, that things were still the same. But that didn't mean he didn't wish Emi wasn't born. It was more of a wish for the awkwardness between Temari and himself to go away.

"So you wish she wasn't here with us now?" he asked.

"No, that's not really what I meant. I meant…" she stopped.

"…that the awkwardness would go away." He finished. She nodded.

"No matter what, I love her." She whispered.

"And?" Shikamaru hinted. He flipped himself sideways so that his head lay in Temari's lap.

"And I love you too." Temari let her fingers dance along his hair and he closed his eyes. "You better not fall asleep on me again, you know." She warned.

"I'm not." He muttered, although Temari could clearly see that the lazy ninja already was. She sighed. She'd just roll him off her later. Or wake him up. She grinned and thought of all the ways she cold wake him up. God did she love doing this. It made life with Shikamaru so much less boring.


	8. Garra Comes To Call

"Mornin" Shikamaru said with a yawn.

"Good morning" Temari replied. She gestured towards a chair. "Have a seat."

Shikamaru obediently sat down across from Temari. She got up and reaching into the fridge, pulled out a bowl of ramen.

"Shall I warm it up for you?" She asked.

"Ramen for breakfast" He acknowledged.

"Yup; there's nothing else to eat"

"I think those were Naruto's leftovers"

"Oh well. He'll probably forget about it anyway" She set the bowl in front of Shikamaru and sat down again.

"Did you-"

"Already ate."

"What about-"

"Sleeping"

She's good, he thought.

He ate in silence while Temari stared out the window behind him.

"Oh yeah; I forgot to mention that Garra was going to drop by to see how we're doing." She said after a minute.

"What!" A piece of ramen fell out of his mouth as he gaped at Temari. "How come you didn't tell me earlier?"

"You were sleeping. And like I said, 'I forgot'"

"You forgot"

"Yup, sorry" Temari really hadn't forgotten, she knew that Shikamaru would have freaked out. Instead she had decided to wait until the last minute… which was now. That left him little to no time to freak out.

"Thanks" he said shortly.

"You're welcome. And just so you know, I'm going shopping since there's nothing to eat. You take care of Emi until Garra gets here and I'll be back in time to stock the fridge."

She won't be back; he thought sadly as she picked up her bag and walked out of the front door.

"See ya" she called. "Garra's coming around noon."

"But that's in like 5 minutes!" he protested.

"Bye!"

"Bye" he answered weakly. I better get Emi up.

Shikamaru trudged into the baby's room. "Okay, get up."

"…"

"Funny, it worked every time for my mom."

"…"

"Emi" he called softly.

"…"

"Daddy says get up… now."

"…"

"Having problems are we?"

Shikamaru jumped; his heart pounding. Garra smirked.

"No!"

The sand shinobi lazily leaned against the doorway. "It took Kankuro about 5 seconds to figure it out. Aren't you the smart one?"

Shikamaru gritted his teeth against the angry retort that was about to come out- calm and cool Shika; calm and cool. Strategies ran through his head. 5 seconds later, he knew what to do.

'Poke'

"…"

'Poke'

On the second poke, Emi opened her beautiful blue eyes and smiled at her father.

"That's an interesting method. Kankuro yelled. Maybe that's why she doesn't like him." Garra mused.

I wouldn't either, he said to himself with a smirk.

Emi held out her arms and Shikamaru gently picked her up.

"She wouldn't do that for him either." Emi turned her head at the new voice and smiled as she recognized her uncle. She reached for him and Shikamaru reluctantly handed her over to the grinning Garra. Hands empty, he shoved them into his pocket.

"So uh" he started. "Would you like to sit down?"

Garra raised an eyebrow and Shikamaru led the way into the living room.

"Uh… have a seat." He gestured to the couch and grabbing a chair from the kitchen, sat down opposite Garra. Garra sat, holding Emi in his lap.

"I don't have any drinks and stuff so…"

Garra waited silently.

"So… uh, yeah" Shikamaru fell silent. That was smooth. Hurry up Temari.

"That won't be a problem; I just came to see how you were faring with Emi." Garra said shortly. "From what Temari and a few other witnesses say, you are fulfilling your task as a father. From what I see, Emi likes you and besides the fact that you do not know how to handle a child… I say, a job well done."

And all this coming from a guy my age, he thought sarcastically.

"Of course, you've just started, so I expect better in the future."

I'm not 5. "Hai" he said instead.

"Goo" Immediately, both men turned their attention to Emi who was frowning and staring fixedly at her uncle.

"What?" he asked.

So I'm not the only one who talks to her like she can talk already.

"Goo" she said again, this time more impatiently. Emi pointed at her mouth.

Uh oh, Shikamaru thought.

"Got any food?" Garra asked.

"Temari went to the store. We're all out."

Garra smirked. "Figures"

The two shinobi sat in a thick silence for a while more. Shikamaru felt as if he was back in school and being tested. Not surprisingly, he had failed most of them. Hurry up Temari!

"I'm back!"

The front door banged open and Temari walked in.

"So how was Shika?" she asked.

"He passes…" Garra stood up, carrying Emi. "For now"

Shikamaru stood up too. "Emi's hungry. What did you bring?"

"What?" Temari looked at Shikamaru. "What did I bring?"

"You said you were going shopping."

Realization dawned on her face.

"Ah." She smirked and Shikamaru noticed that she had the exact same look as her brother.

"I'll be going." Garra handed Emi to her mother and stepped outside.

"I'll see you off brother." Temari stepped outside as well, closing the door behind her and leaving Shikamaru alone in his cramped living room. The door closed with a click and immediately, Shikamaru was off and running the few yards to the kitchen. He yanked open the fridge door.

"Damn" The fridge was fully filled with foods of every sort. He even spotted a few packs of ramen and some baby food. So Temari had tricked him; and said she was going to the store as just an excuse to leave Shikamaru alone with Garra. I can't believe I fell for that! He thought unhappily. "What a drag." At least he was still the master at shogi.


End file.
